It’s festival time in Epcot once more! Although I won’t personally be attending this year’s Food & Wine Festival (pour one out – literally), I always enjoy reading through festival food booth reviews as they trickle in. You know, just to make sure the Greeks are still griddling cheese, Bunsen and Beaker are still slinging pickle milkshakes, and the Italy booth is keeping with tradition by sucking.
One thing I’ve noticed in multiple reviews is the observation that several of the items on offer are similarly available during other Epcot festivals, such as Flower & Garden. This comes up most frequently in the case of desserts… and drinks.
Which is how I found myself musing about the ALL-TIME WORST Epcot festival food booth item I have EVER consumed: the Garden Margarita. Back in time we go!
THE WORST THING I EVER CONSUMED AT AN EPCOT FESTIVAL FOOD BOOTH
The Garden Margarita was a drink available at Mexico’s Jardín de Fiestas food booth during the 2021 Epcot Flower and Garden Festival.
I did not buy this margarita as a dare, prank, or cruel hazing ritual. I purchased it of my own accord in a poorly considered act of spontaneity; it does not appear on my pre-festival to-eat list.
Temporary insanity may in fact have played a part, however. Take a look at the description:
Ojo de Tigre Mezcal, Lettuce Juice, Ancho Reyes Chile Verde Liqueur, Lime Juice, Gracias a Dios Agave Gin, and a Sprig of Thyme.
That’s right, kids; I read this in advance and still made the purchase. I guess I thought it would be one of those things where it sounds crazy in theory, but in practice it is unexpected genius.
It was not.
MY EPCOT GARDEN MARGARITA TASTING EXPERIENCE
Okay, so that’s two vegetable derivatives, two types of liquor, lime juice trying desperately to hold on to some semblance of a normal margarita, and a savory herb to top us off. Sounds like a garden to me… and that’s what it tasted like.
No, no, in a BAD WAY. The dominant flavor of the whole thing was lettuce juice. Wait, you say, isn’t the whole thing about lettuce is that it’s almost all water and practically tasteless?
Turns out, when you juice lettuce, it tastes like grass; or, if you ask Becky (who bravely took a sip), dirt. I tasted more of the grass but trust me when I say she was not wholly inventing things. You wouldn’t think something like lettuce juice could drown out so assertive and smoky a flavor as mezcal, but there you are. Dirty. Grassy.
Meanwhile, the ancho chile verde liqueur did nothing to mitigate the overwhelming green flavor. The pine-y gin only added to the herbaceous vibe. I was at least wise enough to toss the thyme sprig, although without crushing it up I doubt it would’ve added (or, more likely, detracted) much.
I suppose it is not completely impossible that someone who just, I don’t know, really loves green peppers and celery and gnawing on their Christmas tree and licking the blades of their lawnmower might genuinely dig a Garden Margarita. Should that be you, you missed something special. For the rest of you, please proceed to my conclusion in three… two… one…
IN CONCLUSION
If you encounter a drink that includes lettuce juice at an Epcot food booth – or anywhere, for that matter – run. The more you know! 🌈
Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall and on Instagram @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment or email fairestrunofall@gmail.com. See ya real soon!