Hobbyists love handing out advice to the newbies in their ranks, and runners are no exception to this rule. I can’t scroll past three posts on Instagram without coming across some new training or racing tidbit, whether it be anecdotal from a running enthusiast or professional from a coach/physical therapist/nutritionist/etc. What can I say; the algorithm gets me.
Well, I am neither a coach nor a physical therapist nor a nutritionist nor an etcetera. I am an enthusiast, but not one that feels qualified to tell people on a mass social media scale what to do.
However, I do feel comfortable telling you about some things you should not do prior to running, because whew boy, have I made some MISTAKES. You should probably start taking notes, because I do not recommend…
TWO MARGARITAS THE NIGHT BEFORE A RACE
You read that right: I once drank two margaritas the night before the National Capital 20 Miler. Nope, it wasn’t just some throwaway 5K. It was a TWENTY MILE RACE. And I chose to fuel with two margaritas.
Not that I thought it through. It was a spur of the moment decision, (un)inspired by the fact that my first attempt at this race had not been great. My ADHD took the wheel and said OH WELL, MIGHT AS WELL MAKE IT WORSE.
Honestly, it could’ve turned out worse. I had an okay race. But it was still a poor choice. Two tequila shots do not hydration make. Do not succumb to your worst instincts! Drink water!
P.S. We won’t mention the three beers I drank the night before my first Springtime Surprise 10 Miler. Just forget it ever happened, okay?
I JUST LOVE NOT TESTING MY RUNNING GEAR IN ADVANCE
Oh, man, I flirt with this particular disaster all the time. Most commonly in connection with runDisney race costumes; I just adore trying out new elements during the race. I mean, the only other option is to wear Zero ears outside in front of drivers on the highway and they can SEE ME and that’s, like, so embarrassing. So I don’t. (In my defense, they already honk A LOT.)
Although occasionally it’s not even costume-related; I just get a new thing last minute and decide to throw it into my race plan without vetting it at all because there’s no time. I chose my running capris for the Baltimore Marathon based on their zippered pocket – never mind that I had literally bought them two days prior. I’ve even worn running shoes that I’ve been using for less than a month. It’s fun to live on the edge!
Just kidding; it’s fun to wear only running clothes you know will work on race day. Not that I would know.
I USED TO RUN LIKE I WAS BEING DRIVEN BY SANDRA BULLOCK & KEANU REEVES
Is that an awkward metaphor? Look, I used to run MIIIIILES and ALL THE TIME. And there are people who can do that, possibly forever, but as it turns out I am not one of them.
Specifically I am thinking about the time about ten years ago where I ran 20 miles for no reason – well, actually, that’s fine. You can run 20 miles for any reason you want. Still, I wasn’t training for a marathon, so already 20 miles is maybe a bit excessive. But THEN I decided to run another 7 miles THE VERY NEXT DAY. Again, for NO REASON.
And to be clear, it’s not like I woke up the next day full of energy and ready to run. I did it out of a sense of obligation. At this early point of my running journey, I was very much in that “Run all the miles!!!!!” head space. If I stop moving, I die! (Hence the Speed metaphor? Get it? Oh, never mind.) That’s an exciting time, but also a dangerous one. If you don’t need to push yourself, maybe don’t? Because the time will come when you do, and you want to be ready.
THIS IS NOT GOOD RUNNING NUTRITION
I’ve been toying with my pre-race and in-race nutrition for a long time now, and I can tell you confidently that I still don’t quite know what I’m doing. I can, however, tell you that stress eating an ENORMOUS sandwich cookie from The Mara at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge is NOT a good plan. Cookies, I think, can be a good plan, in small doses/reasonable quantities, but not ENORMOUS cookies, sandwich or otherwise.
This may be controversial, but I have been finding of late that I perform better when slightly UNDERfed before the race so long as I really bump up in in-race fueling. I bring my own snacks plus I take every banana they give me. And I don’t even like bananas. Naturally this won’t work for everybody; you might try it on a training run sometime and see how it plays out for you.
Oh, and regardless of whether you’re training or running a race, I DO NOT recommend eating Thai or any other spicy food right beforehand. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t normally bother your stomach. Your running stomach is a completely different beast. Do not tempt it.
IN CONCLUSION
No, I don’t feel comfortable telling you what to do. I am comfortable telling you what not to do. Do not do the above! Believe me when I say your running will be better for it.
Got a must-not-do yourself? Lay it on me via the commentary channel of your choice!
Don’t forget, you can follow FRoA on Twitter @fairestrunofall and on Instagram @fairestrunofall. If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment or email fairestrunofall@gmail.com. See ya real soon!