As I continue to adjust to real gym life, I make small discoveries. Apparently working out among many is far different from working out among few. Go figure. For example: do you experience locker room envy?
No, I don’t mean feeling jealous that other people are skinnier or more toned or whatever than you are. What I mean is rather that stab of jealousy I get when I walk into the locker room before my work out and encounter people who have CLEARLY just finished. Maybe they’re a little sweaty; maybe they’re changing clothes. Maybe they’re merely pulling their stuff out of their locker rather than shoving it in.
Whatever the clues, I can tell they are set for the day as far as exercise is concerned. Whereas I haven’t even changed into my frickin’ running sneakers yet. I want to be done too! I wanna go take a shower secure in the knowledge that I strengthened my heart and burned some calories! Why does working out have to take so much tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime???
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| Pictured: Running, time. |
Of course, there is the small comfort of the future, not only knowing that I too will be done eventually but also knowing that I will also experience the sweet schadenfreude of the reverse. I will of course be done myself, inciting the envy of those just arriving, and also I will be able to look at those who have not yet shed their coats and think: ha! You only just got here and I get to leave!
Um… now that I’ve spelled it all out I feel a) whiny followed by b) mean-spirited. But you know what I’m talking about, right? … Anyone? O.o
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Only you could have alternative locker room envy. Priceless. Now I'm going to be thinking the same thing when I get there. Dammit.
My sphere of influence is broader than I ever imagined! 😉